Make-up-less

I'm finally fashionable!

Hey!
I’m finally fashionable! 
It appears that the new BIG THING IN THE FASHION MARKET is to go without make-up!  WHAT an idea!  I remember a friend of mine asking me sometime about in my 20s if I owned any make-up at all.  Yes, I said, “I have some mascara.”   She said she thought I was the only woman she’d ever met who didn’t own any make-up.  (I did!  I owned mascara!  But that, apparently wasn’t enough!) So if any of you young’uns want any fashion beauty tips, come to me.  I’ve been practicing them for a long, long time.
Here’s an interview with me about it.  I’m also the interviewer.
I:       So, Nan, have you ever worn make-up? 
Me:  Yes.  I remember back in the 7th grade I wore white lipstick.  That was the thing then, so I did.  Then I realized it made me look like I was dead, so I
          quit. 
I:       Is that the only time?
Me:  I have worn lots of make-up at Mardi Gras of course.  And then once on Halloween I wore the best make-up ever!
I:     What was that?
Me:  I got VERY dressed up in an extremely fancy dress, did my hair and my make-up really, really well (I had learned by watching others) and then I              glued a dead big-ass cockroach I’d been keeping for about a week, for that very occasion, to my cheek.  I kept that part of my face kind of                           concealed and then when people said, “Wow!  I’ve never seen you look so ---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
          It was great.
I:      You’re weird as crap.  What are you going to do if you ever win an Academy Award?  How are you going to go up on stage and pick up your                      award with no make-up?
Me:  That’s the ONE thing that worries me. 
I:       What are you going to do?
Me:    I think I’ll send my niece to be the on-TV picker-upper of the award.  She knows how to wear make-up and she looks really nice.
I:       Which one?
Me:    Either Micki or Elyse.  They’re both outstanding at make-up.
I:        Does this mean you’re embarrassed that you don’t wear make-up?
Me:    No, but I don’t want the fact that I’m not wearing any make-up to overshadow the script I was winning an Academy Award for.
I:       Why don’t you just wear make-up for that one night? 
Me:    Because that would be too weird. 
I:        Do you think you’re weird?
Me:     No, I think I’m fashionable.  I don’t wear make-up.  I expect to appear make-up-less on the cover of Vanity Fair ANY DAY.

 
​